Why even write this i've been gone for so long and no one ever checks or reads anymore I don't know.

I have Bipolar Disorder.

Months of horrible depression, worthlessness, no energy, no hope, and the other day I went into my Dad's room got a gun out of the droor and put it to my head i'm not kidding and I realized something was wrong I was broken.

I had tried suicide before and failed but then I just felt nothing I don't know why I did it.
I went to the Doctor.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
Happens to people in their early twenties.
My someone else in my family had Bipolar disorder also so yeh..

He suggested pills for it and I refused them I just don't see the need.
It just feels so hard to wake up.
Theres no one I can talk to anymore.
No one I trust. It wouldn't make a diffrence if there was. I guess I don't know.